Orphan Care & Adoption Theology: Caution!

Let me begin by saying the theology of adoption is a beautiful thing.  I’m eternally grateful for it as a child of God.  I have been adopted.  I was not His child.  Now I am.  My inheritance is now with my Father in heaven.  He is the author of adoption.  He sacrificed so …through faith…I live and have been made a part of His family.

In many profound ways, adopting our daughters is a picture of this beautiful truth. 

At the very beginning of our adoption journey I would read books and articles on the theology of adoption and how it should inspire and convict Christians to  give homes to orphans. I would engage in conversations that further drove the comparison home and would nod an emphatic “YES!” with each word.

Four years and two finalized adoptions later, I still nod –  just not quite as enthusiastically. Why? Because this theology can only capture part of the story.  God Himself cannot be fully understood by pondering one aspect of His character or work(or one thousand for that matter).  There are many truths of God that need to inform how we view earthly adoption. 

I’m concerned about the practical ramifications for adoptees if we only tell them that their story is a beautiful redemption story.  That it was God’s plan from the beginning of time for them to be with their adoptive family.  Etc. While these things are true…it’s only part of the story. 

What do our dear ones do with the pain?  The loss?  The desire to find their birth family?  Birth culture? 

So following are just a few of my thoughts on where we need to clarify and broaden our understanding of adoption in regards to “theology”.

1.  Part of the gospel is reconciliation.  We are RECONCILED to our loving Father through Jesus.  We have been able to RETURN to Him.  We can now commune with Him and walk with Him as He has desired from the beginning.  All is made RIGHT.

Adoptees aren’t reconciled to their adopted families!  Reconciliation would happen with a return and renewal of their birth family.  Had sin not come into this now dying world, children would be with their birth parents.  This was the created intention of God.  Thankfully, He is also a merciful God who redeems and sets the lonely in families through adoption.  That precious redemption comes AFTER there has been deep brokenness.  Earthly adoption is a beautiful picture of the gospel…but not a complete one.

2.  Children of God are NEW creations.  We don’t go back to find our “old life” – let alone live and have relationship with old sin habits. 

No parallel with our children’s adoption story there.  Adopted children should feel free to discover their past and their birth family & culture when/if it is wise to do so. 

3.  We need to be clear.  It’s OUR fault that we need God to adopt us.  WE sinned.

Our adopted children needed us to bring them into our family through NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN.

The church’s passion for adoption needs to be informed by the whole counsel of our loving God.  We can’t just latch on to some talking points that deeply moved us in a sermon or a book once when real people could suffer as a result.  Do we pause and ponder how our conversations in Christendom may impact the way thousands upon thousands of adopted children process or repress their story?  Praise God He gives wisdom to those who seek and ask Him.  Let’s seek and ask often!